Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Granny's Pie

Volume 9, Issue 50 Friday, December 14, 2007

Hello All,

We started our annual “Party Mix” production last Saturday and finished it this evening. The boys helped me deliver some of the first batch to the CCLOC Library and Columbia County Ambulance Service. Sunday, we distributed packages to the folks working the media controls at MCC. If you'd like to make your own, here's our version of the recipe.

Ingredients:

6 to 8 tablespoons butter (I use 1 stick)
(at least) 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 ½ (or more) teaspoons seasoned salt
3/4 teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon onion powder
½ (or more) teaspoon chili powder
2 or 3 cups Corn Chex® cereal
2 or 3 cups Rice Chex® cereal
1 to 3 cups Wheat Chex® cereal
1 or 2 cups mixed nuts
1 or 2 cup bite-size pretzels
1 to 3 cups "Bugles" funnel shaped snack chips

[As you note above, I vary the amount of the ingredients. Just make sure that your total amount of cereal, nuts, pretzels, chips, etc is around 12 cups. That will match up your spices and other ingredients.]

Preparation Directions:
1. Heat oven to 250̊F. In ungreased large roasting pan (I use a large “turkey” roasting pan), melt butter in oven. Stir in seasonings (including the Worcestershire sauce.) Gradually stir in remaining ingredients until evenly coated.
2. Bake 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes. Spread on paper towels to cool, about 15 minutes. Store in an airtight container.

If you want the official recipe without my changes, you can find it at [http://www.chex.com/Recipes/RecipeView.aspx?RecipeId=6709&CategoryId=343&t=1]
~~~~~
If you still haven't bought those kids toys for Christmas, check out Parent's Choice Foundation.
Established in 1978, Parents’ Choice is the nation's oldest nonprofit guide to quality children's media and toys.
They have a great Holiday Gift Guide.
[http://parents-choice.org/]

Of course, our all time favorite “Best Toy” list is the one put out each year by Family Fun. You can see the ‘07 list at [http://familyfun.go.com/parties/holiday-seasonal/specialfeature/famf1107-toy-main/]
~~~~~
As some of you may know, John Warren, owner of Columbia County Ambulance Service, passed away Thursday morning. John taught my EMT class in 1986. He was working for Dow Chemical in the lab and had persuaded us to send him to EMT instructor class. After sponsoring him to become an instructor, it only seemed right to join his first class.
John was recognized locally as well as nationally for his contributions to Emergency Medical Services. He was responsible for bringing Paramedic Service to Columbia County. There are uncounted people whose lives were changed by John, not the least of them are his students.
Visitation will be Saturday from 6 to 9 pm @ Lewis Funeral Home
The Funeral is scheduled for 2 pm Sunday @ Central Baptist Church
~~~~~
We extend our sincere sympathy to Tim Jones in the loss of his mother and Dainon Jones in the loss of his grandmother. Funeral services for Virginia Jones were Tuesday
~~~~~
We extend our sincere sympathy to Jeff Rhodes whose father, Tim Rhodes, passed away this week. Funeral services for Mr. Rhodes were Thursday
~~~~~
Here’s the latest entry from Jimmy’s “Lighthouse Church” blog [http://thelighthousechurch.publishpath.com/] - - Faith - - Thursday, December 13, 2007 - - jimmy Malone

God declares those things that do not exist as though they did.
This is true faith, which produces material change through a spiritual force.

We declare those things that exist as though they did not.
This is denial and makes us, well, silly...

Think it over..

JM
~~~~~
By the way. I finally figured out how to download “stuff” to my MP-3 Player. Here’s the secret that doesn’t just “jump out” at you when you’re struggling through instructions written by some feller who lives east of Iraq. First of all, don’t try to use any of the programs that come with your player. Most of these don’t work without much effort to get every little parameter lined up just right for your computer and MP-3 player.
To download a song, Podcasts, etc., simply right click on the file name and choose “save target as.” Then you can direct it to save the file directly to your MP-3 player (if you have it connected to your computer) or you can save it to a directory (for instance C:\My Audio Files). If you save it to a directory, just open explorer when you’ve hooked up your MP-3 player and drag the files over to it. Of course, when saving the files, make sure they are being saved in MP-3 format. (Most websites give you a choice.)
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Justin Clough
Hometown: Stonington, CT
Awarded: USO Marine of the Year

The unconventional nature of the war in Iraq has demanded much from the Marine Corps NCOs on the ground. During his two tours in Iraq, Marine Corps Sgt. Justin L. Clough exhibited leadership on numerous occasions, in combat, communications, air support, and rescue missions. Clough served a Squad Leader with the 2nd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, and his squad undertook more than 100 combat patrols. In between missions, Clough trained his squad to enhance its communication skills with aircrews that provide support during combat operations. He also taught his team how to conduct evacuations for the wounded, and implemented cutting-edge infantry tactics. Clough’s dedication to training his men eventually helped save his life. Clough and his team repeatedly came under fire during direct and indirect attacks. They also had to constantly dodge improvised explosive devices (IEDs). Clough usually took the lead during assignments, constantly placing himself in the line of fire. On one occasion in Anbar province, an insurgent sniper wounded Clough. After quickly regaining consciousness, Clough’s first concern was to look out for the Marines next to him. Sgt. Nathaniel Clough, Justin’s twin brother, tended to his wounds.

Having been trained to deal with the situation at hand, Clough’s squad quickly and ably radioed in his injury, requested immediate assistance, and prepared an evacuation by air.

For his actions in combat, Sergeant Clough was honored with the USO (United Service Organizations) Marine of the Year award, as well as the Purple Heart. He has also been recommended for the Bronze Star with Combat “V” for valor. Clough’s service, which includes a tour of duty in Afghanistan, has been recognized by numerous institutions, including Stonington, CT, where the town celebrated “Justin Lewis Clough Day.” Clough threw out the first pitch at a Washington Nationals baseball game this past year.

Clough is quick to praise those around him – especially his brother, whom Clough credits with saving his life. Sgt. Nathaniel Clough later earned the Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal with a Combat “V.”
~~~~~
This week, we read; “Battles Lost & Won” by Hanson W. Baldwin.
Now we’re reading "God's Harvard" by Hanna Rosin and “Dead Certain : the presidency of George W. Bush” by Robert Draper.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com/BugsBleat/shelf?ec=7D790D174EFS18012
~~~~~
I’m not really a “deep” reader. I read for fun, relaxation and education. And, I don’t think that every book on the New York times list is a “Must Read” (much less the Oprah list.) But I do think that this list is a great starting point for those looking for something “new” to read.

The New York Times 10 Best Books of 2007

Fiction

MAN GONE DOWN
By Michael Thomas. Black Cat/Grove/Atlantic, paper, $14. This first novel explores the fragmented personal histories behind four desperate days in a black writer's life.

OUT STEALING HORSES
By Per Petterson. Translated by Anne Born. Graywolf Press, $22. In this short yet spacious Norwegian novel, an Oslo professional hopes to cure his loneliness with a plunge into solitude.

THE SAVAGE DETECTIVES
By Roberto Bolaño. Translated by Natasha Wimmer. Farrar, Straus & Giroux, $27. A craftily autobiographical novel about a band of literary guerrillas.

THEN WE CAME TO THE END
By Joshua Ferris. Little, Brown & Company, $23.99. Layoff notices fly in Ferris's acidly funny first novel, set in a white-collar office in the wake of the dot-com debacle.

TREE OF SMOKE
By Denis Johnson. Farrar, Straus & Giroux, $27. The author of "Jesus' Son" offers a soulful novel about the travails of a large cast of characters during the Vietnam War.
~~
Nonfiction

IMPERIAL LIFE IN THE EMERALD CITY: Inside Iraq's Green Zone.
By Rajiv Chandrasekaran. Alfred A. Knopf, $25.95; Vintage, paper, $14.95. The author, a Washington Post journalist, catalogs the arrogance and ineptitude that marked America's governance of Iraq.

LITTLE HEATHENS: Hard Times and High Spirits on an Iowa Farm During the Great Depression.
By Mildred Armstrong Kalish. Bantam Books, $22. Kalish's soaring love for her childhood memories saturates this memoir, which coaxes the reader into joy, wonder and even envy.

THE NINE: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court.
By Jeffrey Toobin. Doubleday, $27.95. An erudite outsider's account of the cloistered court's inner workings.

THE ORDEAL OF ELIZABETH MARSH: A Woman in World History.
By Linda Colley. Pantheon Books, $27.50. Colley tracks the "compulsively itinerant" Marsh across the 18th century and several continents.

THE REST IS NOISE: Listening to the Twentieth Century.
By Alex Ross. Farrar, Straus & Giroux, $30. In his own feat of orchestration, The New Yorker's music critic presents a history of the last century as refracted through its classical music.

The New York Times actually has a list of 100 best books (50 fiction and 50 nonfiction.) You can find their complete list her.
[http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/02/books/review/notable-books-2007.html?_r=1&oref=slogin&pagewanted=print]
~~~~~
If you’d like to write Dr. Antoon, he’d like to hear from you. This is his current address, the latest of the three federal prison’s he’s been in.

Patrick Antoon #06669-010
Federal Prison Camp-La Tuna
P. O. Box 8000
Anthony, NM/TX 88021
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include photos of Ron Huett in his Razorback Santa Hat, Linda Miller in her Reindeer Antlers, Zac singing in his School Play, the school choir, Sim Bailey and Lynn Barnhart with MJ Morgan.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Chocolate Fudge Recipe courtesy Alton Brown
NOTE: This fudge (1 piece [17 grams]) can be used by diabetics in case of an attack of low blood sugar. Just remember to only eat 15 grams of carbs if your sugar falls below 70 and to wait 15 minutes before checking your sugar again. If your glucose is still below 70 at that time, take another 15 grams. If it has reached 70, eat some protein and complex carbs to smooth out your metabolism.

2 3/4 cups sugar
4 ounces unsweetened chocolate
3 tablespoons butter, plus more for greasing pan
1 cup half-and-half
1 tablespoon corn syrup
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 cup chopped, roasted nuts, optional

Grease an 8 by 8-inch pan with butter. In a heavy-bottomed saucepan, combine the sugar, chocolate, 1 ½ tablespoons of the butter, half-and-half, and corn syrup. Over medium heat, stir with a wooden spoon until sugar is dissolved and chocolate is melted. Increase heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and boil for 3 minutes. Remove the cover and attach a candy thermometer to the pot. Cook until the thermometer reads 234 degrees F. Remove from the heat and add the remaining butter. Do not stir. Let the mixture cool for 10 minutes or until it drops to 130 degrees F. Add vanilla and nuts, if desired, and mix until well-blended and the shiny texture becomes matte. Pour into the prepared pan. Let sit in cool dry area until firm. Cut into 1-inch pieces and store in an airtight container for up to a week.

Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Medium
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Yield: 64 (1-inch) pieces
User Rating:

Episode#: EA1G05
Copyright © 2006 Television Food Network, G.P., All Rights Reserved

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_26073,00.html
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

Multiplying Blessings
12/14/2007
Christmas Gifts that Keep on Giving

Every year the Christmas season poses a dilemma. How do we show our friends and family our love without going overboard with a present? Without “buying in” to the rampant consumerism of the season? How can you tastefully share the real meaning of Christmas? Well, here are a few ideas.

Something that has become a tradition of mine is to give a book that has meant the most to me over the past year. This year I will be giving out sociologist Rodney Stark’s Victory of Reason, which traces how it was biblical ideas that gave rise to the modern ideas of freedom, equality, and democracy. It is a wonderful book for those on my list—those who are Christians, as well as those who are still searching for meaning. Giving a book that has meant something to me personally is an opportunity to share what matters most to me—my faith.

More gifts I will be giving this Christmas include DVDs of two of my favorite movies from the past year: The Ultimate Gift and Amazing Grace. I have recommended these on “BreakPoint” before. They both beautifully illustrate the power of the Christian worldview.

The Ultimate Gift tells the story of a grandfather who wants to ensure his grandson inherits a legacy much more precious than money. The plan he develops helps both his grandson and the viewer understand what matters most: work and dignity.

Amazing Grace—which has become one of my all-time favorite movies—tells the story of my personal hero, William Wilberforce. The film marvelously portrays Wilberforce’s Christian faith, his driving passion, and unfailing perseverance to abolish the British slave trade. I cannot imagine that your friends or family will not be deeply moved.

And here is another one for you. Give a gift that not only will be treasured, but also one that helps people in need. Take, for example, a company, Wonderfully Made Jewelry, which employs former victims of sex-trafficking to give them a sustainable and God-honoring occupation. These women make necklaces, bracelets, and pendants that are not just wonderfully made, as their name says, but are also helping women restart their lives and understand that they are wonderfully made treasures of God. What a great chance to talk with a loved one about what it means to be made in the very image of God.

You could buy a 10-dollar bag of Land of a Thousand Hills coffee, grown by Hutus and Tutsis in Rwanda. This gift will not only be enjoyed over the months—it’s good coffee—but proceeds will support reconciliation efforts in that genocide-torn country. This kind of gift allows you to tell others about God’s forgiveness and reconciliation in the most difficult areas. And you can remind them what the birth of Christ really signals.

Sadly, I do not have time to tell you about the many other organizations out there with beautiful products that actually help people in the deepest need. But I should mention some worthy charities, like Samaritan’s Purse or our own Angel Tree program, where you can purchase a gift for a needy child—and tell your children or grandchildren that you did it in their names. I have done that every year for my own grandchildren. Visit our website, BreakPoint.org, for more ideas.

This holiday season, think about giving gifts that point your loved ones to the real meaning of Christmas—the love of God incarnate in His Son, Jesus Christ.

Please give a generous donation today to help Prison Fellowship, Angel Tree, and BreakPoint continue strong in the new year. Donate online or call 1-877-322-5527. Thank you!

For Further Reading and Information

Rodney Stark, The Victory of Reason (Random House, 2006).

Buy the Amazing Grace and The Ultimate Gift DVDs today!

Learn more about how you can purchase Wonderfully Made Jewelry and Land of a Thousand Hills coffee.

Donate to Samaritan’s Purse. Other great charities include Salvation Army, International Aid, and World Vision.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060222, “The Victory of Reason: Christianity and the West.”

Anne Morse, “Amazing Movie: The Story of Wilberforce,” BreakPoint Online, 22 February 2007.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 070917, “‘The Ultimate Gift’: A Second Chance for a Wonderful Film.”

See also BreakPoint’s recommended films and recommended books lists.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 071213, “Creating Culture v. Consuming Culture: Ideas for Christmas.”

Catherine Claire, “Saving Spruce Pine,” The Point, 6 November 2007.

Catherine Claire, “Speaking of Christmas Shopping,” The Point, 29 November 2007.

Zoe Sandvig, “Re: Speaking of Christmas Shopping,” The Point, 12 December 2007.

Anne Morse, “Unplugging Christmas,” The Point, 26 November 2007.

Catherine Claire, “Re: Unplugging Christmas,” The Point, 26 November 2007.

Catherine Claire, “Gift Ideas: Blessings Squared,” The Point, 13 December 2006.

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
surly: ill-humored; sullen and gruff.
mendicant: a beggar.
rapprochement: the establishment or state of cordial relations.
perspicacity: clearness of understanding.
artifice: an artful trick, stratagem or device; also, cleverness, skill.
dishabille: the state of being carelessly or partially dressed.
cacophony: harsh or discordant sound.
frangible: capable of being broken; easily broken.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth." - Mark Van Doren

"We are all pretending ... The important thing is to maintain a straight face." - Maurice Valency

"We take our bearings, daily, from others. To be sane is, to a great extent, to be sociable." - John Updike

"The unrecorded past is none other than our old friend, the tree in the primeval forest which fell without being heard." - Barbara Tuchman

"What a holler would ensue if people had to pay the minister as much to marry them as they have to pay a lawyer to get them a divorce." - Claire Trevor

"There is a kind of intellectual provincialism in the dogma that 'life is just one damned thing after another.' ... human affairs do not become intelligible until they are seen as a whole." - Arnold Toynbee

"The more refined and subtle our minds, the more vulnerable they are." - Paul Tournier
~~~~~
Link List
[http://gasprices.mapquest.com]
[http://thelighthousechurch.publishpath.com/]
[www.terryscomputertips.com]
[www.mcc2000.net]
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

# Lost at Sea, Two Bahamian Fishermen Pray and are miraculously Rescued
# Courageous British Christian Convert Receives Police Protection from Threats
# Near Jesus' Birthplace—a Birthplace of Hope
# Brilliant Geminid Meteor Shower to Peak December 13 - 14

# The Bravery and Selfless Love of 7-year-old Alexis, Shot 6 Times while protecting her Mother
# Humble Colorado Security Guard Credited With Saving 50-100 Lives Says She Had Just Come Off a 3-Day Fast and God Made Her Strong
# One of the YWAM Shooting Victims Had Been a Deeply Troubled Youth before Giving His Life to Jesus
# U.K. Woman, Miraculously Healed, Told by Welfare Officials that their Computers "Do Not Have a Button for Miracles"

# Scientific Facts have "dramatically changed" the Stem Cell Debate to Present "cures everyone can live with"—Says Senator Brownback
# Use Honey, Not Drugs, to Combat Child's Cough Says New Study
# South Carolina Church Restores Importance of Art into Design of New Facility

Breaking Christian News
310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
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GCF: Granny's Pie

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, YN) -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to
Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life.
Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor/
Unsubscribe info for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email.
This email was scanned by F-Secure before it was sent.
----------------------------------

Granny Adams made such beautiful pies! One day I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?"

"Well, it's a family secret," she said. "But if you promise not to tell, I'll let you in on it."

"Okay," I said. "Tell me!"

"Well, first, I roll out the dough, making sure it is flat and even.
Then I cut out the bottom layer and carefully put in the pie plate and make sure it is firmly against the sides of the plate.

Then I slowly pour in the filling, making sure it's not too full.

Next, I cut out the top layer and carefully put it over the filling.

Finally, I take out my teeth and just run them around the edge of the pie crust and they make the nicest even impressions you ever did see!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Failing Eyesight

Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom
To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with
this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to:
gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
----------------------------------

An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was nervous because her eyesight was failing and was afraid her friend might reject her because she was less than perfect.
So, she came up with a plan to prove to him that she could see perfectly.

She put a straight pin in a tree that was about 200 feet from her front porch.

When her beau arrived, they sat in the porch swing and were talking when she suddenly stopped the conversation and asked, "Is that a pin sticking in that tree?"

Her friend squinted his eyes and said, "I don't see a thing."

"Well, I'm going to go see," she said as she jumped up, ran toward the tree, and collided with a cow.

GCF: Ooops!

Emailed to me from another humor list (Cascade Express E-zine) -Tom
To subscribe to Cascade Express E-zine, send a blank email to:
Cascade_Express-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
----------------------------------

I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn mower refused to cooperate. It would run fine for a few seconds, then cut off, run again, cut off. Finally, I gave up and waited for my husband.

He had a good laugh when he diagnosed the problem. Instead of plugging in the mower using a three-prong adapter, I'd hooked up the cord through the Christmas-tree light blinker control.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Wrapping Help

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
href="http://cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/">Subscribe----------------------------------

My wife asked me to help wrap Christmas presents this year, but I was watching football and declined to help. She then informed me that if I didn't help, I'd be in big, big trouble, so I helped.

However, she didn't tell me to put tags on them, so I think I may be in trouble anyway.

GCF: Men and Women

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Sharon) -Tom
-----------------------------------------------

NICKNAMES:

If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT:

And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in a $20 bill, even though the total bill is only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they
want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES:

A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping.
He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SHOES:

When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY:

Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about
twenty years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by reruns of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dental appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / Real friends are those who, \ \_/ ////
\ / when you feel you've made a \ /
\ _/ fool of yourself, don't think \_ /
/ / you've done a permanent job. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I'm not afraid of heights, \ /
\ _/ I'm afraid of widths. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A budget is just a method \ /
\ _/ of worrying before you spend \_ /
/ / money, as well as afterward. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Don't cry because it’s over; \ /
\ _/ smile because it happened. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If you're going to draw on the \ /
\ _/ wall, do it behind the couch. \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@slonet.org |
| http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor |
|___________________________|
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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From Lee Roy Blanks
Warning: Very Bad Pun Inside

A pastor who was badly overworked went to the local medical center and was able to have a clone made. The clone was like the pastor in every respect--except that the clone used extraordinarily foul language. The cloned pastor was exceptionally gifted in many other areas of pastoral work, but finally the complaints about the dirty language were too much. The pastor was not too sure how to get rid of the clone so that it wouldn't look like murder. The best thing, he decided, was to make the clone's death look like an accident. So the pastor lured the clone onto a bridge in the middle of the night and pushed the clone off the bridge.

Unfortunately there was a police officer who happened by at that very moment and arrested the pastor for . . . making an obscene clone fall.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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I know that a joke like this about President Bush would offend me. But, I can't resist.

A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Hillary fans.

Not really knowing what a Hillary fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...Again.

Little Johnny says, 'Because I'm not a Hillary fan.'

The teacher says, 'Why aren't you a Hillary fan?'

Johnny says, 'Because I'm a Republican.'

The teacher asks why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my mom's a Republican and my dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican'

The teacher asks, 'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

With a big smile, Little Johnny replies,
'That would make me a Hillary fan .'

Thanks to Waneta
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Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law).

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Out of the mouth of babes....Have a Merry and Blessed Christmas...

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the crèche when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. He hurried outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get your passenger, my fine friend?"

The little boy replied, "I got Him at church."

"And why did you take Him?"

The boy explained, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told Him if He would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give Him a ride around the block in it."

An Early MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Good Clean Jokes

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get >From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover? The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile

Thanks to Greg McDaniel
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CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

* 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, …

Thanks to Waneta
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Friends

A husband and wife were fighting over something trivial.

However, both of them adhered to their own positions without budging an inch, and since yelling at each other wasn't about to solve the problem, they decided they would each ask 10 friends to come, and they would ask the 20 people to act as a jury.

The husband got 10 of his best friends to come right away.

Meanwhile, the wife got all 10 of his friends' wives.

Received from Kyungjun Lee.

(-:][:-)

A Day in Court

A witness is testifying before the court, and the prosecuting attorney is asking him questions.

"You witnessed the robbery, sir?"

"Yes."

"What was stolen?"

"Two televisions."

"Did you see the thieves?"

"Yes."

"Could you identify them?"

"Yes."

"Are the two men who stole the televisions in this courtroom?"

At this point, the two defendants raise their hands.

(What's a defense attorney to do?)

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Camels

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom, why have I got these huge three-toed feet?"

The mother replies, "Well, son, when we trek across the desert, your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."

"OK," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"

"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert."

"Thanks, Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?"

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy, replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods."

"That's great, Mom. So we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes, and these humps to store water, but Mom..."

"Yes, son?"

"Why are we in the San Diego zoo?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Tomatoes

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.

"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."

The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"

"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."

"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."

Received from AcraMax Jokes.

(-:][:-)

Area 51

Have you heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Las Vegas, got lost, and spotted the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Las Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MPs surrounded the plane -- only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - -http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2007/12/05/ms-legal-person-answers-your-holiday-questions/ - - Ms. Legal Person Answers Your Holiday Questions
Ms. Legal Person returns by popular demand with advice for the holiday season. “Your free help was worth every penny,” wrote one satisfied reader. “Do you have malpractice insurance?” wrote … oops, wrong letter.

Okay, enough with the accolades and on with your questions:

Q: They hung mistletoe in my office, and I’m highly offended.

A: Why?

Q: It’s sexual harassment.

A: I see. Has anyone ever kissed you while you were standing under the mistletoe?

Q: No.

A: What about when you weren’t standing under the mistletoe.

Q. Certainly not.

A: That’s what I thought.

*****

Q: My birthday falls right before Christmas and I always get short-changed. Do I have any legal recourse?

A: You suffer from Badly Timed Birthday Syndrome. Fortunately, last year’s Anti-Discrimination and Mental Health Care Reform Bill included the Birthday Rehabilitation Act. It allows you to petition any federal judge to modify your birthday by no more than 30 days.

Q: That’s great news!

A: You need only prove that your birthday coincides with a key holiday, causing pain and suffering and depriving you of your fair share of attention and gifts.

Q: Wow! Can I also modify my birth year?

A: How old are you?

Q: 37.

A: I’m afraid not. But you’re free to lie like everyone else.

http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles

A fresh pot of coffee you didn't have to make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
The fastest line at the grocery store.

A good sing along song on the radio.
Your keys right where you look.

I wish you a day of happiness and perfection-little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you, holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare. I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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From Lee Roy Blanks Remember This

It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, General Dwight Eisenhower found the victims of the death camps, he ordered all possible photographs to be taken and for the German people from the surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury the dead. He did this he said, in words to this effect; "Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses - because somewhere down the track of history some ******* will get up and say that this never happened.

IN MEMORIAL

Recently, the UK REMOVED the Holocaust from its school curriculum because it "offended" the MUSLIM population because THEY say it NEVER occurred.

This is a frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easy each country is giving into it.

It is now more than 60 years since the 2nd. World War in Europe ended. This is being sent as a memorial, in memory of the 6 million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, starved, burned and humiliated while German and Russian people looked the other way!

Now more than ever, with Iran among others, claiming the Holocaust to be a myth, it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out! Read on, this is very interesting!
Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes.
Take this test for yourself.
Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now -- not who you were in the past.
Have pen or pencil and paper ready.
This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today .
It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees.
It's only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question.
Ready? Begin.
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning b) during the afternoon &and early evening c) late at night
2. You usually walk..
a) fairly fast, with long steps b) fairly fast, with little steps c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face d) less fast, head down e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you. ..
a) stand with your arms folded b) have your hands clasped c) have one or both your hands on your hips d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with. ..
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side b) your legs crossed c) your legs stretched out or straight d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh b) a laugh, but not a loud one c) a quiet chuckle d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you . .
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...
a) welcome the break b) feel extremely irritated c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange b) black c) yellow or light blue d) green e) dark blue or purple f) white g) brown or gray
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are. ..
a) stretched out on your back b) stretched out face down on your stomach c) on your side, slightly curled d) with your head on one arm e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling b) fighting or struggling c) searching for something or somebody d) flying or floating e) you usually have dreamless sleep f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS : Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS : Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature
UNDER 21 POINTS : People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Thanks to Anne Oldham
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How To Dance In The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that is in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
but how to dance in the rain."

Thanks to Anne Oldham
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| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------------
December 14, 2007
Worst Disaster in Chemical History

Today's Message is from Joe Coury (a Pasadena Albemarle employee).
........................................................

On December 3rd, 1984, the worst disaster in the history of the chemical industry occurred in Bhopal. Methyl isocyanate had been contaminated with water and chloroform which caused a runaway reaction. Because a number of safety systems were shutdown at the time, the relief valves relieved directly to the atmosphere. As a result, 2000 people were killed.

One of the most important lessons to be learned from Bhopal has been overlooked by most commentators. The material, methyl isocyanate was not a raw material or product in the plant. It was an intermediate. Plant designers did not hesitate at that time to design large storage facilities for raw materials, intermediates, and products. Keeping large inventories of hazardous materials is often not really necessary. Within a year of the Bhopal disaster, Union Carbide, the owner of the Bhopal site, reported world-wide reduction of methyl isocyanate inventories by 75% -- without affecting business operations.

All of this illustrates an important safety principle: "What you don't have can't leak."
----------------------------------------------------
| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------------
December 13, 2007
21 Traffic Deaths in One Weekend in South Carolina

Recent deaths, holiday travel worry officials
By RICHARD WALKER, T&D Staff Writer | Tuesday, December 11, 2007

In the wake of the worst weekend for traffic fatalities in several years, the S.C. Highway Patrol and Orangeburg Department of Public Safety are
working together to slow down car crash deaths.

"Troopers will be out there working the known DUI and high-crash areas," SCHP Lance Cpl. Bob Beres said. "If you get stopped and are drunk, you will
go to jail."

During the first weekend in December, the Palmetto State experienced 21 deaths, a number eclipsing anything in recent memory, according to SCHP
Cpl. Paul Brouthers.

The previous high for a non-holiday weekend in recent years was 18 fatalities over the weekend of August 18-20, 2006. During the Memorial Day
2007 holiday period, 16 people died on South Carolina roads.

Brouthers attributed the high number of fatalities simply to "bad drivers."

Bad drivers or not, law enforcement personnel inside the city limits of Orangeburg and in the county are working to increase safety awareness and slow down traffic.

"It's pretty ironic, the enforcement levels are increasing," said ODPS Chief Wendell Davis. "What would the accident increase and fatality number be if we hadn't increased (law enforcement) visibility?"

Through Dec. 2, preliminary figures show Orangeburg County has suffered 46 traffic fatalities this year. While that number is down from the 52 deaths in the county at this time last year, police are looking at reducing fatalities.

Those same figures show that 987 people have died on South Carolina highways this year, compared to 974 in 2006. Of the 744 motor vehicle occupants who died in 2007, 464 were not wearing seat belts.

"Some of the contributing factors have been speed and DUI," Beres said.

For its part, Orangeburg County claimed three of those 21 collisions last weekend that resulted in a fatality. One crash was a rear-end accident on
Interstate 26, another involved a vehicle that pulled in front of an oncoming motorcycle and the last was a hit-and-run involving a moped.

During this past weekend, eight deaths were reported statewide, including one in Bamberg County.

"We want to stress personal responsibility," Beres said. "You are not only responsible for yourself, but the passengers in your vehicle. Take the time to make sure everyone's buckled up."

What has officials concerned is the holiday season and typical traffic increases.

As president of the S.C. Law Enforcement Officers' Association, Davis said the ODPS and the SCHP have already been in discussions to find the best
means to slow down traffic during the Christmas and New Year's holidays.

"We want to try to keep the (fatalities) as low as possible," Davis said.
"The goal is to cause people to be safety conscious. This is a time typically known for drinking and driving. We're going to do anything we can to deter that."

With the holidays coming up, shoppers are adding to the increased traffic, as are visitors from out of town and party-goers.

"The holidays are among us and there will be more traffic on our roadways," Beres said. "When at a party, don't let someone drive if you see they are intoxicated. If you have to ask yourself, 'Have I had to much too drink?' the answer is always 'Yes!'"

With Christmas just two weeks away, there may be some shoppers who won't find that last gift until the last minute. But that frantic rushing about can cause a drop in alertness while behind the wheel, Davis said.

"This is the time of year when we have a record number of accidents," Davis said. "We have people who have an increased level of inattention because
they are trying to get to this store or that store and that, in turn, leads to a lot of accidents."

The SCHP and ODPS will be conducting traffic check points at various sites within the city and county. Those sites will be moved, perhaps hourly, in an effort to reduce accidents that can lead to a traffic fatality.

"We want this holiday season to be a joyous one for everyone," Beres said. "Take an extra minute to look before pulling out of a side road, make sure
that you are buckled up, don't let anything distract you from keeping your attention on the traffic around you, and watch your speed."
----------------------------------------------------
| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------------
December 12, 2007
Holiday Safety

Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Pam Kemp.
______________________

It's that time again when we pull out the lights and the ladders and start trimming the houses, shrubs , trees and anything else we can hang a strand of lights on.

A few hints for safety.......

Make sure your ladder is steady and that you have more than enough working room once you climb that ladder .. hopefully someone there to support you and the ladder while you work.

Don't overload your outlets by using multiple electrical plugs .. this could overload your electrical capacity for your home and cause fire. When you do string your lights, make sure it is not going to become a tripping hazard to you or your kids later no matter how cute they may look in that particular place.

Protect children and pets from cords laying out...put them up high or hide them behind furniture that children and pets cannot get to. Check any flower or object that you leave out to make sure if a child or pet does manage to get hold of it that it will not harm them... some leaves on flowers are poisonous and those pretty little do-dads we leave out can
become a chocking object for kids and pets..if it can fit in their mouths, you better believe that's the first place it will go.

I could go on and on but I think you get the REST OF THE STORY..........be careful for you and your family and have a Merry Christmas and a Happy,
Safe and Prosperous New Year
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/

December 14, 2007
Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

** "Chemicals in Your Backyard? Under New Rule, You Might Not Know About It" by Liz Borkowski EPA has loosened its Toxics Release Inventory reporting requirements – and a new GAO report finds that the agency overstated the rule's benefits and rushed the process in order to please the White House OMB. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/13/chemicals-in-your-backyard/

** "Occupational Health News Roundup" by Liz Borkowski A gas explosion killed 105 miners in China; twelve Minneapolis pork-processing workers have developed a puzzling neurological illness; and a new law in Florida makes it harder for injured workers to win in court. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/12/occupational-health-news-roundup-44/

** "'War on Cancer' Book Elicits Warring Reviews" by Dick Clapp Two reviews of Devra Davis's The Secret History of the War on Cancer published in Lancet publications are so diametrically opposite that one wonders if the reviewers had read the same book. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/12/warring-reviews/

** "Time for a Presidential Science Debate" by David Michaels, Susan Wood, and Liz Borkowski The Pump Handle joins a nonpartisan effort to urge presidential candidates to hold a science debate, and provides questions addressing science and policy. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/11/time-for-a-presidential-science-debate/

** "OSHA's Reg Agenda: Where have all the hazards gone?" by Celeste Monforton Many hazard topics have disappeared from the latest OSHA regulatory agenda. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/11/oshas-reg-agenda-where-have-all-the-hazards-gone/

** "Flawed Study Gets Congressional Hearing" by David Michaels The House Small Business Committee is holding a hearing based on a study that is so flawed it could be used to teach students how not to do survey research. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/11/flawed-study-gets-congressional-hearing/

** "Reform to 1872 Mining Law Long Overdue" by Liz Borkowski Reform to an old mining law is welcomed by those concerned with hardrock mining's effects on communities and the environment. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/10/reform-to-1872-mining-law-long-overdue/

** "Friday Blog Roundup" by Liz Borkowski Bloggers track the energy bill in Congress, look at the research on mental illness and risk of violence, and give us an insider view of working an Ebola outbreak. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/07/friday-blog-roundup-53/

** "Journal Scan: More Evidence for Stronger Air Pollution Standards" by David Michaels Two papers and an editorial in NEJM address the human-health effects of relatively low levels of airborne particles, and raise the question of whether our air quality standards should be tightened. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2007/12/07/journal-scan-more-evidence-for-stronger-air-pollution-standards/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

Thursday, December 13, 2007
LabourStart's Favorite Union Site

Today you can start voting for your Favorite Union Site

To nominate your site, click here. To invite your friends and co-workers onto the mailing list (so that they can vote) click here. Thanks - and good luck.

Families Chose This Year!

Just a note ERT fights for members as well as management which is absolutely awesome. One loss is as devastating as another. This may be a sore spot for some however the work of Labor should be about the people no matter class or creed. Spread the Love.

The Labour Website of the Year, sponsored by LabourStart, is a competition held every year since 1997. Trade union websites from around the world compete and individual union members vote online to decide which is the very best union website.
With help from Allan Mc Dougall of USW they now have a program ERT (Emergency Response Team). Online content contains:

History and Function of the ERT Program
Purpose and Mission
Contact Us
Behavioral Changes and Patterns Following A traumatic Event
Common Responses to Trauma
Symptoms to Watch for with Trauma Victims
Coping with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Positive Coping Actions
Positive Lifestyle Changes to Coping
Recognizing and Dealing with Traumatic Stress Reactions
Making Personal Lifestyle Changes to Deal with Stress
Negative Coping Actions
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Voluntary Ergonomics Standard.

Seems to me repetitive movement is repetitive movement but a few (30) commercial and residential builder trade groups must feel this rule shouldn't apply to them. These trade groups initiated a new appeal against the (American National Standards Institute’s) ANSI voluntary ergonomics standard.

The trade groups feel they are being picked on, "They say the committee that voted 76 percent in favor of the standard did not represent a consensus because it was stacked with pro-ergonomic members." They also claim the process was imperfect "fatal procedural deficiencies", and "are so contentious they do not lend themselves to the development of consensus standards."

So my question is why don't they take it upon themselves to improve upon the standard instead of cutting it out? Why is it that with all the Attorneys and specialist they have they can't just get with the program and insist on completely tearing it down? Humm maybe they are afraid the G's won't stack high enough.
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Health Care & Long-term Exposures

The Environmental Working Group, ANA, Health Care Without Harm and the Environmental Health Education Center at the University of Maryland School of Nursing released results of an on-line national survey of nurses and chemical exposures.

Nationally more than 1,500 nurses were surveyed. The survey indicates that there is an association between the health care providers long-term exposers to hazardous drugs, chemicals and other agents (such as latex) and the overall health of the heath care provider and their children.

The report shows "increased rates of asthma, miscarriage, and certain cancers, as well as increases in cancers and birth defects, in particular musculoskeletal defects, in their children. There are workplace safety standards for only six of the hundreds of hazardous substances to which nurses are exposed on the job."

It also recommends the government conduct a long-term, national survey and establish mandatory limits . Those responsible for existing, broad studies of nurses' health should collect data on occupational exposures and replace hazardous materials. Nurses and Patients push facilities reduce a hospital or other health care facility's use of hazardous materials. I you know anyone in health care this is a great resource so pass it along!
http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Spc. Randy W. Pickering, 31, of Bovey, Minn., died Dec. 9 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries sustained in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the Regimental Support Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

02. Cpl. Johnathan A. Lahmann, 21, of Richmond, Ind., died Dec. 10 in Tikrit, Iraq, of wounds suffered in Bayji, Iraq, when a improvised explosive device struck his vehicle. He was assigned to the 59th Engineer Company, 20th Engineer Battalion, 36th Engineer Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas.

03. Cpl. Tanner J. O’Leary, 23, of Eagle Butte, S.D., died Dec. 9 in Musa Qal’eh, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

04. Staff Sgt. Gregory L. Elam, 39, of Columbus, Ga., died Dec. 11 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, as a result of a non-combat related illness. He was assigned to the 54th Quartermaster Company, 49th Quartermaster Group, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), located at Fort Lee, Va.

05. Chief Petty Officer Mark T. Carter, 27, of Fallbrook, Calif., died Dec. 11, as a result of enemy action while conducting combat operations in Iraq. He was permanently assigned as an East Coast-based Navy SEAL.

06. Spc. Brynn J. Naylor, 21, of Roswell, N.M., died Dec.13 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 12th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

07. Sgt. Samuel E. Kelsey, 24, of Troup, Texas, died Dec 13 in Tunnis, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 7th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died in Afghanistan from wounds suffered when their vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device. The soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade, Camp Ederle, Italy.

Killed were:
08. Staff Sgt. Michael J. Gabel, 30, of Crowley, La., who died Dec. 12 at Forward Operating Base Curry, Afghanistan.

09. Cpl. Joshua C. Blaney, 25, of Matthews, N.C., who died Dec. 12 at Forward Operating Base Curry, Afghanistan.
~~
Airmen Missing in Action from Korean War are Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office announced today that the remains of two U.S. servicemen, missing in action from the Korean War, have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

They are Col. Douglas H. Hatfield, of Shenandoah, Va., and Capt. Richard H. Simpson, of Fairhaven, Mich., both U.S. Air Force. Funeral dates have not been set by the families.

On April 12, 1951, Hatfield and Simpson were two of eleven crewmembers on a B-29 Superfortress that left Kadena Air Base, Japan, to bomb targets in the area of Sinuiju, North Korea. Enemy MiG-15 fighters attacked the B-29, but before it crashed, three crewmembers were able to bail out. They were captured and two of them were later released in 1954 to U.S. military control during Operation “Big Switch.” The third crewmember died in captivity. He and the eight remaining crewmembers were not recovered.

In 1993, the North Korean government turned over to the United Nations Command 31 boxes containing the remains of U.S. servicemen listed as unaccounted-for from the Korean War. Four sets of remains from this group were subsequently identified as crewmembers from the
B-29.

In 2000, a joint U.S./Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (D.P.R.K.) team, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) excavated an infantry fighting position in Kujang County where they recovered remains which included those of Hatfield and Simpson.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used mitochondrial DNA and dental comparisons in the identification of the remains recovered in 2000.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest
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Leadership Magnolia Fundraiser Ole Feed House Fish Dinner (Drive Through Only) December 17, 4:30 - 7:30 pm $10 per plate
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Scheduled Activities
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CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Jer 7:22-24 James 4:6-10 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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